Friday, November 20, 2009

April Sucks 11/19

Today was bad, so bad I don't even want to write anything...horrible crappy day.  The only thing good about today was the food I ate.  I don't know what is wrong with me lately, I know I am not being very good competition, I promise I will get better and more on track....just give me a couple days to bounce back

Breakfast: Fish...and then in a moment of weakness (I was even already full) a pop tart with Clark

Lunch:  Arby's/  4 Mozzarella cheese sticks and sauce, a few curly fries and a Mt. Dew (not diet)

Snack: Half an Oreo McFlurry... I felt so bad for eating it, I couldn't even finish it.

(Yes, we did got to two separate fast food restaurants today, we totally need an intervention.)

Dinner: Mac and cheese, small portion.

I am going to bed early to prevent myself from eating anymore.  The only working out I did was walking around the mall a few times, probably like 20 mins.

On a positive note, cause it is the only thing keeping me going right now, I did map out a 3-5 mile walking route.  I am not going to fight with the kids (or Jason) to get on the treadmill anymore/everyday.  Also, I finally got a doctor to re-new my anti-depressants...so hopefully that will help.  Everything is much better when I have/take them.  It is just too bad that I have to self medicate to be married to Jason, and be a decent Mom, and not a plumpy depressing bore.  Gah!  TMI...  I will be fine in a few days, and then y'all better watch your back.

4 comments:

  1. April I take two antidepressants. One for depression and one so I wont kill my family. I was such a bitch before I got on Prozac. I totally recomend a Welbutrin- prozac combo. Welbutrin helps with energy (but side effect can cause aggression and anxiety.) The prozac helps the aggression and anxiety. I think toddler age is the hardest on moms. I fill like you totally have to give up your needs and wants and it is depressing. Also getting out is hard, keeping the house clean, having a hobby........all things that go down the tube when you have young kids. Life will be so much better once they start school.

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  2. Also when I first went on Welbutrin I lost 40 lb within the 1st 3 months.

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  3. Thanks Kara, it is nice to know someone else gets what I am dealing with.
    I am all for trying new (and better) things, but it is like pulling teeth to just get the Zoloft. I seriously had to beg and cry yesterday, and they only gave me enough for 24 days and then I have to go back and start all over again. They just don't want to help out in anyway that involves PILLS. They want me to come on a weekly basis, when I already have no car and no time to TALK...I don't need to talk. It is maddening. I hate the Army doctors.

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  4. Every time you feel like cheating text me and I will bitch at you! Just keep trying! What works for me is thinking how nothing tastes as good as I will feel when I am skinny. Also trying on my goal jeans help. I feel like a fat ass when I do that. Or thinking about how I am outgrowing my fat clothes. I am too fat for my fat clothes and that makes me work out harder!

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